OK - I'm still writing the paper that I was supposed to have finished weeks ago. The portion I'm working on right now is looking back over my life to see how God has worked to get me where I am today. This is a great thing to do except for one thing - I avoid looking backards. That's probably the reason I'm still working on this project...
Something awesome has happened this morning, though. As I've looked back over the beginning of my life, specifically the first fourteen years, I've been awestruck at how powerful God is. I've been remembering times in my life when He totally changed the direction I was moving in and have almost started crying here in the coffee shop. (I've held them in because I am NOT going to burst into tears while sitting alone at a table in a busy coffee shop!). This wasn't just once but several times this morning and just because I had to put into words what God has done in my life.
We all have baggage in our past that hurts and is easier to ignore. I'm sure there are many like me who don't want to look back and re-feel scares of their past. It is SOOOO worth it, though, to look back for healing and for how God has held you up. If you've never done it, try to look back for areas where God has protected you, put people in your life to encourage you, or has totally supported you so you'd be strong enough to handle life. Think through what life could have been like if God wasn't there for you. God has been so real to me this morning that I can't imagine making it to where I am today without Him. It's a chance to see Him involved in your life.
If you don't buy into God, that's OK. He still buys into you. We can chat more on this if you want. I totally believe He's big enough to handle any rejection you may have.
Peace,
Rob
Monday, April 17, 2006
Friday, April 14, 2006
March 25 Post from my Defunct MySpace site
OK, I just finished studying and keep having this cool thought/experience in my head. It's at the end of my quarter and I've been feeling huge pressure with all these paper deadlines over my head. It's seemed that no matter how well I planned my week to allow study, crazy things would come up, ranging from work demands to travel nightmares (I have a travel story that defines bad trips) to throwing out my back. Then, to top it off, I think my kids were forgetting who I was. The stress I was feeling was getting me to the point of almost just shutting down - you know, going into a "does-not-compute" mode with everything.
It was right about then that I read Psalm 143 from the Bible. It says,
Hear my prayer, O LORD; listen to my plea! Answer me because you are faithful and righteous. Don't bring your servant to trial! Compared to you, no one is perfect. My enemy has chased me. He has knocked me to the ground. He forces me to live in darkness like those in the grave. I am losing all hope; I am paralyzed with fear. I remember the days of old. I ponder all your great works. I think about what you have done. I reach out for you. I thirst for you as parched land thirsts for rain. Come quickly, LORD, and answer me, for my depression deepens. Don't turn away from me, or I will die. Let me hear of your unfailing love to me in the morning, for I am trusting you. Show me where to walk, for I have come to you in prayer. Save me from my enemies, LORD; I run to you to hide me. Teach me to do your will, for you are my God. May your gracious Spirit lead me forward on a firm footing. For the glory of your name, O LORD, save me. In your righteousness, bring me out of this distress. In your unfailing love, cut off all my enemies and destroy all my foes, for I am your servant.
Isn't that awesome? It really spoke to me. I was feeling knocked to the ground with all the things demanded of me and had to fight off being paralized by my fear of not being able to do everything (I have this huge fear of failure). The part where it says, "I think about Your great works" reminded me to remember how God's brought me through crazy times in the past. It reminded me that He isn't just this guy I read about in the Bible but that I've experienced the difference He's made in my life. It took my focus off everything in front of me and reminded me that He can give me the strength to push through everything.
I love the ending part where David (the author of the Psalm) says teach me Your will. To be honest, I wasn't thinking that way. I was pretty selfish and thinking what to I need to do to get me out of this stress... and that's it. I wasn't thinking of anyone else. I pray that I can have a focus on God so strong that no matter what struggles I'm in, I can still want to learn more of what God wants for me.
Enough of me rambling. I need to get to bed. For those at Bethany Church tomorrow, I'll see you in the barn. For those not there, come by sometime.
Peace,
Rob
It was right about then that I read Psalm 143 from the Bible. It says,
Hear my prayer, O LORD; listen to my plea! Answer me because you are faithful and righteous. Don't bring your servant to trial! Compared to you, no one is perfect. My enemy has chased me. He has knocked me to the ground. He forces me to live in darkness like those in the grave. I am losing all hope; I am paralyzed with fear. I remember the days of old. I ponder all your great works. I think about what you have done. I reach out for you. I thirst for you as parched land thirsts for rain. Come quickly, LORD, and answer me, for my depression deepens. Don't turn away from me, or I will die. Let me hear of your unfailing love to me in the morning, for I am trusting you. Show me where to walk, for I have come to you in prayer. Save me from my enemies, LORD; I run to you to hide me. Teach me to do your will, for you are my God. May your gracious Spirit lead me forward on a firm footing. For the glory of your name, O LORD, save me. In your righteousness, bring me out of this distress. In your unfailing love, cut off all my enemies and destroy all my foes, for I am your servant.
Isn't that awesome? It really spoke to me. I was feeling knocked to the ground with all the things demanded of me and had to fight off being paralized by my fear of not being able to do everything (I have this huge fear of failure). The part where it says, "I think about Your great works" reminded me to remember how God's brought me through crazy times in the past. It reminded me that He isn't just this guy I read about in the Bible but that I've experienced the difference He's made in my life. It took my focus off everything in front of me and reminded me that He can give me the strength to push through everything.
I love the ending part where David (the author of the Psalm) says teach me Your will. To be honest, I wasn't thinking that way. I was pretty selfish and thinking what to I need to do to get me out of this stress... and that's it. I wasn't thinking of anyone else. I pray that I can have a focus on God so strong that no matter what struggles I'm in, I can still want to learn more of what God wants for me.
Enough of me rambling. I need to get to bed. For those at Bethany Church tomorrow, I'll see you in the barn. For those not there, come by sometime.
Peace,
Rob
First Thoughts
It's a beautiful sunny day. I should be writing a paper but instead I'm setting up this blog. It's the continuation of one I started on MySpace. Due to the bad press it's been getting and the fact that I've been hit on (even though my profile indicates I'm married with kids), I figured it would be a good idea to establish a presence outside of the MySpace meat market.
Job 42:5 means a ton to me. If you're nt familiar with what happens to Job in the Bible, he's a guy who's love for God is tested - tested in a way that would challenge anyone's beliefs. He loses his wealth, business, family, and health. Instead of cursing God, he holds on to his faith, however, at the very end of the book, he decides to question God. God's response is one where He "refocuses" Job's perspective and reminds him who He is questioning. Job's response at the end of this convicts me. He says, "I had heard about you before, but now I have seen you with my own eyes."
I've thought through his response a bit and what led to it. I can't say I'd necessarily arrive at the same place. After all his suffering, I'd be inclined to be turned off by God's response. I'd want God to be compassionate, to say , "hey, I understand. I'm sorry I let this happen to you," or "Let me tell you why this had to go down this way." But instead, God responds reminding Job that He is God and Job is not. Job's response is one of thankfulness. He's been able to see God as a result. I think this implies a personal knowledge - he went from knowing about Him to a real, vibrant relationship with Him.
So, if you choose to read this on a regular basis, you'll get a glimpse into my attempts to learn to live a life where I can say the same as Job - God, you are so real to me that I can see You - and be able to say that without being certifiably insane...
Peace,
Rob
Job 42:5 means a ton to me. If you're nt familiar with what happens to Job in the Bible, he's a guy who's love for God is tested - tested in a way that would challenge anyone's beliefs. He loses his wealth, business, family, and health. Instead of cursing God, he holds on to his faith, however, at the very end of the book, he decides to question God. God's response is one where He "refocuses" Job's perspective and reminds him who He is questioning. Job's response at the end of this convicts me. He says, "I had heard about you before, but now I have seen you with my own eyes."
I've thought through his response a bit and what led to it. I can't say I'd necessarily arrive at the same place. After all his suffering, I'd be inclined to be turned off by God's response. I'd want God to be compassionate, to say , "hey, I understand. I'm sorry I let this happen to you," or "Let me tell you why this had to go down this way." But instead, God responds reminding Job that He is God and Job is not. Job's response is one of thankfulness. He's been able to see God as a result. I think this implies a personal knowledge - he went from knowing about Him to a real, vibrant relationship with Him.
So, if you choose to read this on a regular basis, you'll get a glimpse into my attempts to learn to live a life where I can say the same as Job - God, you are so real to me that I can see You - and be able to say that without being certifiably insane...
Peace,
Rob
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