OK – so when I stared this blog, I wanted it to be a time where I could share how God’s been real to me. Things like insights I get while reading, studying, or during time with God. Things like insights I see around me that connect with scripture. I didn’t realize it would be like praying for patience – you never do it because you’ll be stretched so much, you’ll appreciate the level of patience you had. I never expected it would involve the events of the last few months.
For those of you who know us, you’re aware of many of these things. In May, my wife found a few suspicious lumps. In June, we found out they were breast cancer. Talk about sending us for a tailspin. Nothing like this was ever on our radar. How do you even process your wife having a disease that could be life-threatening? How do you keep doing everything else you’re supposed to do when your foundational support is threatened?
I can’t even begin to share how God has spoken to us in this time. Two days prior to getting DaNae’s biopsy results, I was reading my Bible for some encouragement and praying and felt God say, “Don’t worry about the results. I’m bigger than anything the doctors can tell you.” At the time, I thought He was giving me some peace as we worried in a time of unknown. You see, DaNae’s biopsy was the week before and we were waiting for results. The unknown was killing us – we had never expected her appointments to progress this far. We knew 80% of the biopsies they did came back clear. This gave us confidence that all would be ok but the emotional reality was that the uncertainty was consuming both of us. How do you turn off that voice in your head that keeps telling you the worst-case scenario? I felt a lot of peace after this time with God and felt I could release my anxiety to him. Two days later, I found myself drawing on this for a whole different rationale. Cancer was now a part of our life. I found myself drawing on God’s ‘don’t worry’ message over and over again.
Another way God spoke to us was in a comment a friend made to DaNae as we told our community. Charla mentioned to her that “God wasn’t surprised by this.” It was one of those remarks that the person doesn’t remember saying, yet God uses in a profound way. These five (or six) words gave us an anchor. If God wasn’t surprised by this, then maybe we could still rely on Him. Maybe there’s a bigger picture. Instead of getting caught in poor-me syndrome, maybe we could see a larger perspective in the scheme of things. Even as I sit here and think about this (over 4 months later), I feel the strength of those words. To me, it means God really is Sovereign. It’s not just an academic word anymore. I have faith because I know I can rely on him despite the circumstances in front of us.
I could go on and on regarding other ways God has spoken to us. My son, Caleb, is great at reminding us that we have nothing to fear. The night we told him, he put his arms on both DaNae and I and prayed for us (by the way, did I say he was 8?). DaNae does an incredible job of putting these to words in her carepage (you can email me for instructions on how to get to it if you to read more).
On a separate note, I’ve been reading a devotional by Anthony De Mello called A Way to Love. This is one of those devotional books that you read in the morning and chew on throughout the day. Thanks, Dann, for giving this to me! That alone would be worth our meeting each other. More on this later.
Monday, November 06, 2006
Tuesday, May 02, 2006
Does God Still Speak to Me?
I’m reading Richard Foster’s Celebration of Discipline right now. It’s a book exploring some of the practices of Christian faith – prayer, solitude, fasting, study, worship, etc. I’ve never really explored a lot of these and have this inner desire drawing me towards understanding them.
As I was reading this morning, Foster talks about how as Christians, we are content to get God’s Word second hand. Followers of God have done this for thousands of years – just look back to the Israelites as they left captivity in Egypt. They didn’t want God to talk to them. Instead, they wanted Moses to act as a go-between (Ex 20:19). What is it that makes us so afraid to hear from God ourselves? I mean, look at the church today. How often do we rely on our Pastors and teachers alone to communicate God’s Word to us? Do we really make hearing from God a priority? I struggle with this in Student Ministries. For our teens, it’s much easier to let the leaders be responsible for God’s input in their lives. When it comes to them connecting with God on their own, I often hear it’s too much work or then their faith becomes like homework or something they are forced to do. What happened to loving God so much that you want to grow closer to Him? We can do it with girlfriends and boyfriends but struggle when it comes to God…
One of the questions I get a lot in youth ministry is, “How do I know God is talking to me? Does God still talk to people?” There are only 2 possible answers – yes or no. If He doesn’t talk to his creation anymore, then we’re in a whole load’o’hurt. He’s made promises never to leave us, no matter what we do. I don’t think ‘no’ is an realistic option for an answer.
So, yes, He still does speak to us. Why, then, is it such a challenge for me to hear Him? I think it’s because I don’t know how to listen. You know what I mean. We’ve all been there where we are sharing a story with someone and they may be saying, “Hmmm” and “oh yeah” with their mouth as we speak but their eyes and mind are off somewhere else. We tend to be better at pretending that we’re listening than actually listening. If we’re like that with the people around us, how can we not be like that with God?
Maybe God is always speaking. Every moment, at every time and place in our day – we just don’t tune into Him. On Easter morning, I had a chance to ‘tune in’. At our church, the Student Ministries Department is responsible for our Sunrise Service on the oceanfront (Not sure who in their right mind thought youth ministry was a natural pairing for a sunrise service, but that’s another discussion). I was leaving the house at 4:30 AM, before the sun even thought of rising, to set up for the service and heard a solitary bird singing in the woods behind our house. This bird wasn’t just tweeting – it was singing away like a performer. Earlier that week, I read the triumphal entry account in Luke and remembered the ending of that section. When the religious leaders asked Jesus to quiet the crowds, He said that if He quieted them, the rocks would praise Him. As I listened to this bird, I just got the sense that on Easter morning, God’s creation was praising Him and my perspective and awareness changed. Now, the sliver of a moon and stars seemed brighter. As I was getting into my truck, even the wind seemed louder (I actually turned around because I thought it was a truck coming down the road). I heard God’s voice all around me.
As I think through this today, what makes Easter day so special? Doesn’t God speak like this all the time? I want my spiritual sense to be tuned in to His voice and hear Him more often. So, that’s why I’m reading Richard Foster’s book. I’m going to experiment and see how these practices help me to ‘tune in’ and experience the God all around me. My prayer is that more of you may do the same.
As I was reading this morning, Foster talks about how as Christians, we are content to get God’s Word second hand. Followers of God have done this for thousands of years – just look back to the Israelites as they left captivity in Egypt. They didn’t want God to talk to them. Instead, they wanted Moses to act as a go-between (Ex 20:19). What is it that makes us so afraid to hear from God ourselves? I mean, look at the church today. How often do we rely on our Pastors and teachers alone to communicate God’s Word to us? Do we really make hearing from God a priority? I struggle with this in Student Ministries. For our teens, it’s much easier to let the leaders be responsible for God’s input in their lives. When it comes to them connecting with God on their own, I often hear it’s too much work or then their faith becomes like homework or something they are forced to do. What happened to loving God so much that you want to grow closer to Him? We can do it with girlfriends and boyfriends but struggle when it comes to God…
One of the questions I get a lot in youth ministry is, “How do I know God is talking to me? Does God still talk to people?” There are only 2 possible answers – yes or no. If He doesn’t talk to his creation anymore, then we’re in a whole load’o’hurt. He’s made promises never to leave us, no matter what we do. I don’t think ‘no’ is an realistic option for an answer.
So, yes, He still does speak to us. Why, then, is it such a challenge for me to hear Him? I think it’s because I don’t know how to listen. You know what I mean. We’ve all been there where we are sharing a story with someone and they may be saying, “Hmmm” and “oh yeah” with their mouth as we speak but their eyes and mind are off somewhere else. We tend to be better at pretending that we’re listening than actually listening. If we’re like that with the people around us, how can we not be like that with God?
Maybe God is always speaking. Every moment, at every time and place in our day – we just don’t tune into Him. On Easter morning, I had a chance to ‘tune in’. At our church, the Student Ministries Department is responsible for our Sunrise Service on the oceanfront (Not sure who in their right mind thought youth ministry was a natural pairing for a sunrise service, but that’s another discussion). I was leaving the house at 4:30 AM, before the sun even thought of rising, to set up for the service and heard a solitary bird singing in the woods behind our house. This bird wasn’t just tweeting – it was singing away like a performer. Earlier that week, I read the triumphal entry account in Luke and remembered the ending of that section. When the religious leaders asked Jesus to quiet the crowds, He said that if He quieted them, the rocks would praise Him. As I listened to this bird, I just got the sense that on Easter morning, God’s creation was praising Him and my perspective and awareness changed. Now, the sliver of a moon and stars seemed brighter. As I was getting into my truck, even the wind seemed louder (I actually turned around because I thought it was a truck coming down the road). I heard God’s voice all around me.
As I think through this today, what makes Easter day so special? Doesn’t God speak like this all the time? I want my spiritual sense to be tuned in to His voice and hear Him more often. So, that’s why I’m reading Richard Foster’s book. I’m going to experiment and see how these practices help me to ‘tune in’ and experience the God all around me. My prayer is that more of you may do the same.
Monday, April 17, 2006
School Projects and Life Reflection...
OK - I'm still writing the paper that I was supposed to have finished weeks ago. The portion I'm working on right now is looking back over my life to see how God has worked to get me where I am today. This is a great thing to do except for one thing - I avoid looking backards. That's probably the reason I'm still working on this project...
Something awesome has happened this morning, though. As I've looked back over the beginning of my life, specifically the first fourteen years, I've been awestruck at how powerful God is. I've been remembering times in my life when He totally changed the direction I was moving in and have almost started crying here in the coffee shop. (I've held them in because I am NOT going to burst into tears while sitting alone at a table in a busy coffee shop!). This wasn't just once but several times this morning and just because I had to put into words what God has done in my life.
We all have baggage in our past that hurts and is easier to ignore. I'm sure there are many like me who don't want to look back and re-feel scares of their past. It is SOOOO worth it, though, to look back for healing and for how God has held you up. If you've never done it, try to look back for areas where God has protected you, put people in your life to encourage you, or has totally supported you so you'd be strong enough to handle life. Think through what life could have been like if God wasn't there for you. God has been so real to me this morning that I can't imagine making it to where I am today without Him. It's a chance to see Him involved in your life.
If you don't buy into God, that's OK. He still buys into you. We can chat more on this if you want. I totally believe He's big enough to handle any rejection you may have.
Peace,
Rob
Something awesome has happened this morning, though. As I've looked back over the beginning of my life, specifically the first fourteen years, I've been awestruck at how powerful God is. I've been remembering times in my life when He totally changed the direction I was moving in and have almost started crying here in the coffee shop. (I've held them in because I am NOT going to burst into tears while sitting alone at a table in a busy coffee shop!). This wasn't just once but several times this morning and just because I had to put into words what God has done in my life.
We all have baggage in our past that hurts and is easier to ignore. I'm sure there are many like me who don't want to look back and re-feel scares of their past. It is SOOOO worth it, though, to look back for healing and for how God has held you up. If you've never done it, try to look back for areas where God has protected you, put people in your life to encourage you, or has totally supported you so you'd be strong enough to handle life. Think through what life could have been like if God wasn't there for you. God has been so real to me this morning that I can't imagine making it to where I am today without Him. It's a chance to see Him involved in your life.
If you don't buy into God, that's OK. He still buys into you. We can chat more on this if you want. I totally believe He's big enough to handle any rejection you may have.
Peace,
Rob
Friday, April 14, 2006
March 25 Post from my Defunct MySpace site
OK, I just finished studying and keep having this cool thought/experience in my head. It's at the end of my quarter and I've been feeling huge pressure with all these paper deadlines over my head. It's seemed that no matter how well I planned my week to allow study, crazy things would come up, ranging from work demands to travel nightmares (I have a travel story that defines bad trips) to throwing out my back. Then, to top it off, I think my kids were forgetting who I was. The stress I was feeling was getting me to the point of almost just shutting down - you know, going into a "does-not-compute" mode with everything.
It was right about then that I read Psalm 143 from the Bible. It says,
Hear my prayer, O LORD; listen to my plea! Answer me because you are faithful and righteous. Don't bring your servant to trial! Compared to you, no one is perfect. My enemy has chased me. He has knocked me to the ground. He forces me to live in darkness like those in the grave. I am losing all hope; I am paralyzed with fear. I remember the days of old. I ponder all your great works. I think about what you have done. I reach out for you. I thirst for you as parched land thirsts for rain. Come quickly, LORD, and answer me, for my depression deepens. Don't turn away from me, or I will die. Let me hear of your unfailing love to me in the morning, for I am trusting you. Show me where to walk, for I have come to you in prayer. Save me from my enemies, LORD; I run to you to hide me. Teach me to do your will, for you are my God. May your gracious Spirit lead me forward on a firm footing. For the glory of your name, O LORD, save me. In your righteousness, bring me out of this distress. In your unfailing love, cut off all my enemies and destroy all my foes, for I am your servant.
Isn't that awesome? It really spoke to me. I was feeling knocked to the ground with all the things demanded of me and had to fight off being paralized by my fear of not being able to do everything (I have this huge fear of failure). The part where it says, "I think about Your great works" reminded me to remember how God's brought me through crazy times in the past. It reminded me that He isn't just this guy I read about in the Bible but that I've experienced the difference He's made in my life. It took my focus off everything in front of me and reminded me that He can give me the strength to push through everything.
I love the ending part where David (the author of the Psalm) says teach me Your will. To be honest, I wasn't thinking that way. I was pretty selfish and thinking what to I need to do to get me out of this stress... and that's it. I wasn't thinking of anyone else. I pray that I can have a focus on God so strong that no matter what struggles I'm in, I can still want to learn more of what God wants for me.
Enough of me rambling. I need to get to bed. For those at Bethany Church tomorrow, I'll see you in the barn. For those not there, come by sometime.
Peace,
Rob
It was right about then that I read Psalm 143 from the Bible. It says,
Hear my prayer, O LORD; listen to my plea! Answer me because you are faithful and righteous. Don't bring your servant to trial! Compared to you, no one is perfect. My enemy has chased me. He has knocked me to the ground. He forces me to live in darkness like those in the grave. I am losing all hope; I am paralyzed with fear. I remember the days of old. I ponder all your great works. I think about what you have done. I reach out for you. I thirst for you as parched land thirsts for rain. Come quickly, LORD, and answer me, for my depression deepens. Don't turn away from me, or I will die. Let me hear of your unfailing love to me in the morning, for I am trusting you. Show me where to walk, for I have come to you in prayer. Save me from my enemies, LORD; I run to you to hide me. Teach me to do your will, for you are my God. May your gracious Spirit lead me forward on a firm footing. For the glory of your name, O LORD, save me. In your righteousness, bring me out of this distress. In your unfailing love, cut off all my enemies and destroy all my foes, for I am your servant.
Isn't that awesome? It really spoke to me. I was feeling knocked to the ground with all the things demanded of me and had to fight off being paralized by my fear of not being able to do everything (I have this huge fear of failure). The part where it says, "I think about Your great works" reminded me to remember how God's brought me through crazy times in the past. It reminded me that He isn't just this guy I read about in the Bible but that I've experienced the difference He's made in my life. It took my focus off everything in front of me and reminded me that He can give me the strength to push through everything.
I love the ending part where David (the author of the Psalm) says teach me Your will. To be honest, I wasn't thinking that way. I was pretty selfish and thinking what to I need to do to get me out of this stress... and that's it. I wasn't thinking of anyone else. I pray that I can have a focus on God so strong that no matter what struggles I'm in, I can still want to learn more of what God wants for me.
Enough of me rambling. I need to get to bed. For those at Bethany Church tomorrow, I'll see you in the barn. For those not there, come by sometime.
Peace,
Rob
First Thoughts
It's a beautiful sunny day. I should be writing a paper but instead I'm setting up this blog. It's the continuation of one I started on MySpace. Due to the bad press it's been getting and the fact that I've been hit on (even though my profile indicates I'm married with kids), I figured it would be a good idea to establish a presence outside of the MySpace meat market.
Job 42:5 means a ton to me. If you're nt familiar with what happens to Job in the Bible, he's a guy who's love for God is tested - tested in a way that would challenge anyone's beliefs. He loses his wealth, business, family, and health. Instead of cursing God, he holds on to his faith, however, at the very end of the book, he decides to question God. God's response is one where He "refocuses" Job's perspective and reminds him who He is questioning. Job's response at the end of this convicts me. He says, "I had heard about you before, but now I have seen you with my own eyes."
I've thought through his response a bit and what led to it. I can't say I'd necessarily arrive at the same place. After all his suffering, I'd be inclined to be turned off by God's response. I'd want God to be compassionate, to say , "hey, I understand. I'm sorry I let this happen to you," or "Let me tell you why this had to go down this way." But instead, God responds reminding Job that He is God and Job is not. Job's response is one of thankfulness. He's been able to see God as a result. I think this implies a personal knowledge - he went from knowing about Him to a real, vibrant relationship with Him.
So, if you choose to read this on a regular basis, you'll get a glimpse into my attempts to learn to live a life where I can say the same as Job - God, you are so real to me that I can see You - and be able to say that without being certifiably insane...
Peace,
Rob
Job 42:5 means a ton to me. If you're nt familiar with what happens to Job in the Bible, he's a guy who's love for God is tested - tested in a way that would challenge anyone's beliefs. He loses his wealth, business, family, and health. Instead of cursing God, he holds on to his faith, however, at the very end of the book, he decides to question God. God's response is one where He "refocuses" Job's perspective and reminds him who He is questioning. Job's response at the end of this convicts me. He says, "I had heard about you before, but now I have seen you with my own eyes."
I've thought through his response a bit and what led to it. I can't say I'd necessarily arrive at the same place. After all his suffering, I'd be inclined to be turned off by God's response. I'd want God to be compassionate, to say , "hey, I understand. I'm sorry I let this happen to you," or "Let me tell you why this had to go down this way." But instead, God responds reminding Job that He is God and Job is not. Job's response is one of thankfulness. He's been able to see God as a result. I think this implies a personal knowledge - he went from knowing about Him to a real, vibrant relationship with Him.
So, if you choose to read this on a regular basis, you'll get a glimpse into my attempts to learn to live a life where I can say the same as Job - God, you are so real to me that I can see You - and be able to say that without being certifiably insane...
Peace,
Rob
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